Finally Home!

We are home!!!! THANK GOD! Yesterday was the longest day of my entire life! Two toddlers in a plane for 19 hours is WAY too much to ask anyone to go through. They did great for the first half, but that last ten hours just about did us all in.
We are home now, trying to sort though suitcases and make sense of all that we packed.
I am working on a video that will show off some of the trip, but in the mean time, allow me to introduce Macie and Ella! They are so cute!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

We head home in 24 hours (not that anyone is counting)! None of us can wait to get off that plane and settle into home life and a regular schedule. I don't expect to have much time to write today. I started an email/blog yesterday and intended to finish it last night, but in an effort to put both the girls to bed, Macie chatted me right off to sleep.
So far, I have had pee on at least half of what I packed, caught vomit in my hands, gotten snot all over my shirts and had my gag reflexes trained to sniff out the nastiest of diapers. Welcome to motherhood!!!
Really though, the girls are beautiful and very smart. Macie is a bit more independent while Ella refuses to let me even put her down. Needless to say, it has been an adventure and I hope that both I and they will adjust a bit better once we are all back in our own space.
We made it through our embassy appointment without any problems and have been playing to the point of exhaustion with the rest of our time. Today we will learn how to cook Injera (Ethiopian bread) and Wot (stew) and pack things up for our long trip home. Ethiopian air is asking that we be at the airport 4 hours early (WHAT THE HECK?). So we will be wandering around a foreign airport for WAY too long with two toddlers causing a ruckus. How fun is that?!?! :). Oh well. That's what they get for wanting us there that early. Anyway, it will be a long day of waiting and an even longer night of travel.
We should get into DC around 7am on Friday morning! I can't wait!
I have taken a ton of pictures of the girls and of the country itself. I will post them as soon as I can, but it may be a few days. I have so much to share. There has been more emotion packed into this week than I ever could have measured and my heart and mind have been changed by this culture, by it's people, and of course, by my girls.
I will come here again. I have no doubt that I will bring my girls back so that they can know this place and all the beauty that it holds. In the ugliest of poverty, there is beauty amongst the people that far succeeds any beauty I have ever seen.
I will miss Ethiopia's warmth, it's pride, and it's love for it's people.....
There is so much more I have to share, but there is also the whimper of a 19 month old baby girl coming from the other room.
P.S. She is whimpering for me (big grin).

Are These The Same Children?

An update has finally arrived from Beth. Thank you to all who have contributed comments on the blog, Beth has received them and is so thankful. I am also very thankful for all of the love and support that everyone has shown. I hope you all enjoy this latest entry as much as I did. Without further delay:


I am laying here listening to the sound of three sets of lungs breathing in the early morning air. One set I have heard my whole life, the other two I will listen for the remainder of it.
We traveled south yesterday, visiting the region where the girls were born and I have to mention that Ethiopia is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I know many families say that, but trust me when I tell you that the pictures and the video will NEVER do this country justice. There is poverty beyond anything I have ever seen, but the graceful pride these people carry, as well as the land itself, is a humbling reminder of what can be made of this life and what God's definition of beauty really is. If I could bottle it up and bring it home to share, it would put most Americans to shame. There is something different here. Something that is in the hearts of these people, in the way that they are loved and love one another. It is seen in so many things. Men holding hands in friendship and solidarity as they walk down the street, the prideful smile of a mother as she watches her children play barefoot in a field. It is in the eyes of young and old alike, this knowledge of something bigger and the gift it is to live in the moment with hope for the little things that the next day might hold.
I would not give up today and all that it held for anything that this world holds. It was beyond words.... and that was BEFORE we even got back to the guest house.
We returned to the guest house in the late afternoon, showered and headed to the care center to see the girls. They were waiting when we arrived and while there were pouty faces and a few tears shed the time with them was much better.
Whatching them listen to different voices and interact with us new faces seemed to be a bit overwhelming. Some quiet interaction took place before Macie's fascination with the camera turned the corners of her mouth up and I saw the beginnings of an ACTUAL smile! The heavy sigh of a 3 year old girl, escaped Macies mouth as she resigned herself to starting over. I heard so much of myself in that quiet breath that my eyes filled with tears. This was MY daughter! This was my little fighter, and I could see so much of my own spirit behind those twinkling young eyes.
The rest of the evening was unbelievable. It seemed like every minute the girls were doing something different, saying something new, learning a new english word.... Ella was reaching for me when she was uncertain of something and Macie was giggling and showing us how to count.
Mom and Marcy and I glanced at one another in tearful disbelief as the girls uncertainty disolved and they revealed the best parts of themselves. Please and thank you's were being said and before I knew it, the day came to an end.
Never in a million years would I have expected the miracle of last night. Never would I have guessed that these little lives full of so much hurt and pain, would cling to me so quickly after the all the sobs, kicking and screaming I saw over the last couple of days.
There are no words to write, no term to define the fullness that my heart feels as I sit here just listening to my girls as they sleep.
I have no idea what today holds. I have no expectations of the girls or even of myself. The week is only half over and the emotional exhaustion is bound to catch up with us all. My hope is that we bond more because of it and that the girls find comfort in these arms of mine.
All of that said, let me share with you one last thing. It is without a single doubt in my mind that my girls and ALL of the children in the care center have been well loved and cared for. There is a light in their eyes and joy on their faces that can not be forced or manipulated. Watching these children, anyone could see that there is reason for the deep connection between themselves and those that have cared for them. Without the love and attention these children, my children, got while in the center, I am not sure they would have ever been capable of connecting again. I have never seen anything like it and could not have asked for more loving men and women to be involved in this difficult period of the girls lives.
Let me encourage anyone waiting for their travel date, waiting for referral, or processing all of that paperwork so that they can be waiting.... your children are loved. They are waiting for you and anxious to come home, but in the mean time, they are VERY, VERY loved!
More soon...

Nothing new to report

(Garrett Here)
Well, I have noticed as the visitor number has risen significantly over the last two days. I hope that no one has been holding their breath for another update from Beth in Ethiopia (sorry if anyone has, if so please seek medical attention). She let me know that she will try to write something by at least tomorrow (Monday). I can also say that they are all well and generally conscious (the eight hour time difference from DC to Ethiopia may have something to do with that). For now, please continue to comment on the Blog because I have given those messages to her and she loved them. We will keep you posted.

Starting Over (Ethiopia Post #2)

I met my daughter's today. They are beautiful girls with hearts full of love and spirits that will make them great women.

I met our Sara Macie, not even recognizing her at first. Her hair has grown longer and she was SOOOO much smaller than I even imagined. To see her is to love her. To watch the tears as they streamed down her face, was more painful than anything I have ever felt.
The recognition of who I was and what that meant broke her heart all over again and she was smart enough to fight against anyone who she believed might cause her more pain. Reminders from staff that I was her new mommy only brought back memories of a another Mommy already lost to her and HUGE crocodile tears began to form in those big brown eyes.
Her eyes show the life she has lived, the hurt and betrayal she has felt and the love that she so desperately wants to believe in. The sobs and horrifying cries of disbelief only spoke louder of her need for stability and a home.
My heart has NEVER been so broken for another. I have never struggled so much between taking someone in my arms or running from the room at the same time. Both out of protection for this precious heart that has felt more pain in her 3 years of life than I have in my 30.
I was introduced to Ella Birtukan in the midst of this transition with Sara Macie and while she recognized the tears in her sister's eyes and reflected that sadness back to me, she was far easier to console and was more than willing to let me hold her in my arms and rock her to sleep. I must admit, amidst the unbearable heartache of her older sisters rejection, the warmth of a slumbering baby brought comfort.
Only once, when I was faced away from Macie, did Ella's pouty cry break the hold I had over my emotions. She was just whining, not rejecting or distraught, just uncertain and I turned her to see the familiar face of her sister. Her crying subsided a bit and I let myself feel for a moment, what I had tried to keep to hidden from them in the hours before.
I sat there with one baby in my arms and another within arms reach, but unwilling to even look at me. Sara Macie had no reason to smile, no reason to laugh, no reason to play. Staff, other children and myself tried to distract her with the things that she loves, but she knew. Her ability to discern the moment and all that it meant was undeniable. She is unlike any child I have ever met or seen or read about. There is no hatred in her. No mean or angry spirit. There is only brokenness and disbelief. Disbelief that she allowed herself to trust again and now that trust has brought her another great loss. I know that she will begin to hope again and that I will see a smile soon, but the agony of today was a pain that both of us felt and that I would give anything to deliver her from.
My heart aches , not for my own desire to be wanted and needed by my two girls, but it aches with them both for the weighted memories they bear and for all the processing they have ahead of them.
It took the entire 3 hour visit, but in the last 15 minutes Sara Macie let me hold her. She had her eye on her trusted nanny (who is a GODSEND), but she didn't pull away from me. She just let this very new, very white, very foreign new Mommy hold her, knowing that the next week would mean starting over for her and beginning again.
I don't know how I survived today. I can not explain the intensity, the shear agony that I felt for my girls, that I felt WITH them and for them.
I will bring them home. I will give them the family and the stability that they have gone without. I will give my life to give those girls the love that they deserve and I will spend the rest of my days determined to show them how much they mean to me and how worthy they are of all that is good.
They are my daughter's after all, and already the very BEST part of who I am.
Continue to pray. There is still much to come...

We are in Ethiopia!

The flight was uneventful once we finally got off the ground. We were delayed for about an hour due to security checks, but once we took off we gained time in the air and traveled fairly well.
We hit some turbulence along the way (always a bit unnerving), but were fairly distracted by movies and a couple of naps here and there. Sunrise was beautiful over the UK. I tried to find our old flat in Brighton, England, but we were just a tad too high off the ground.
Our lay-over in Rome went without incident. We fueled up without de-boarding and hung on another 5 hours until we finally got word we would be landing in Addis on time.
The view we had of Africa and Ethiopia itself was limited as we landed after dark. It was easy to see that the city is pretty big. It is so geographically diverse that it was a little overwhelming trying to take it all in. I can't wait to get a better feel for the country side and cultures that are within it.
Getting our Visa's at the airport was simple and fast. We exchanged some US cash for Bir, met with the guest house manager just outside of customs and headed “home” to the guest house where I now sit typing on our laptop.
It has taken me a while to get situated. Figuring out the adapter/surge protector was an adventure, but after everyone else crashed for the night I stayed up a bit, washed my travel clothes, and figured all of our electronics out. Things should work fairly smoothly in that department.
My only regret now, is that I can't figure out how to get onto the internet here. There is a guest password issue that I can't seem to get past and no one is here to work on it (go figure! It IS midnight!). So this post will have to wait until tomorrow when I can get some help.
When we arrived this evening we were given an outline of the week, including all of the who's, what's, when's and where's.
My nerves are shot. I am exhausted and I can't seem to get my head around all the life changing, heart melting encounters that will happen in the next 12 hours. I hope I can at least shut my mind down long enough to get a few hours rest before tomorrow begins.
All of that said, here are some photos for you to ponder over. I will post more after I can quit gawking over my beautiful daughters long enough to share in the details.
Thank you for the prayers and support. Keep them coming!!!!
On another note (this is Garrett typing in the US), by the time you're reading this blog, Beth will have met the girls! We'll keep you updated.

We are in the airport! 1 hour til take off! Wow!!! It's actually happening!

To My Darling Daughters...

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Leaving On A Jet Plane.

I can't believe it is here. It is far more surreal than I guessed it would be.
We are leaving the house and heading to the airport in just a few short minutes. Bags are loaded and we are anxious to get this trip started.
This has been such an unbelievable year. We have jumped through hoop after hoop, filled out paper after paper and waited hour after hour in hopes of hearing word about where we were at in the process and any movement that had been made.
I have never had so many days full of heartache, joy, compulsive eating, obsessive email checking, or so many tears shed (both good and bad) in all of my life. Ella and Macie are already such a huge part of our lives. The joy of bringing them home and having them in our arms is beyond description.
I don't think that there is a single couple that I have spoken to that had any idea what they were getting into when they started this process. That said, there is not one that has said they would make their decision any differently. Family is what you make it and ours is growing by two beautiful, sweet girls, who I can't wait to meet. Love is such a tiny word that holds such a tremendous amount of meaning. This is a new kind of love for me, this Mother's love. So far, I have found no limits, no boundaries, and no expectations of it. Just pure, relentless love. These girls are my miracles. God's gift to me, to Garrett, to our families and I can't wait to introduce them to you all.

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Some of the culture we will see in the next week.

Packing, Preparation and What Landing In Ethiopia Will Look Like!

This week has flown by. Packing is on-going and it didn't take Dudley long to figure out that something BIG was going on! His week made by having family that he KNEW here, but now he knows that things are changing and he isn't quite sure what to do. He has been in obvious need of affection and refuses to leave my side for long, even checking on me during chow time.
I know that people say the way you treat your dog and the time you put into him/her changes when you have kids (and I expect that to some extent) but as my mother so lovingly put it, Dudley is more human than most dogs and I just can't see him as anything other than a big "brother" to our girls. He will get lots of extra treats tomorrow before we leave for the airport.

Packing moved from room to room today. There are bags all over the house. It started on one floor and moved to the other two every few hours.


After a solid review of one anothers personal effects, the cramming of objects and clothing began. So far, we have three bags stuffed and two more that are close to it. We are taking three fairly full backpacks as carry on luggage and have one smaller suitcase stuffed in a large one for the extra items we will have on the return flight home.

It has been a crazy day and one that I have looked forward to living for FAR too long!

Tomorrow we leave. Thursday evening we arrive. It will be dark when we land, but this is what we WOULD see if we arrived during the day.
I CAN'T believe it is only 24 hours away!!!!!

Ethiopia

3 Days And Counting!!

Mom and Marcy are in the air as I type. The house is ready. I have packed all that I can for now and will take pictures when we get all of our stuff together.
The closer we get to leaving, the more I want to share about Ethiopia itself and the culture.
After our arrival, I am hoping to update the blog on the day to day events of the trip. For now though, I thought it might be a good idea to share some of the basics of the culture so that the pieces might fall together a little easier when the time comes to explain all the who's, where's and what's of the trip.
This video shows off some Ethiopian Cuisine. I know it looks different, but you'll have to trust me- IT IS WONDERFUL!!!
I am hoping to take Mom and Marcy before we leave. Will post some pictures of that if I get a chance before we fly out!

We leave in 5 days for Ethiopia. The suitcases are out. Family is traveling over the weekend. The chaos has commenced!
That said, we received updated information on the girls this week with a new batch of photos included. They are both healthy and doing well! I'll post more pictures of the week as it progresses. For now, here are our girls....

Tickets Are Bought!!

We bought our tickets today- ALL of them! There's Mom's ticket to Seattle to pick up Marcy, tickets for both of them to DC, then there are tickets for all three of us to ETHIOPIA!!!! Flights are all bought and ready to go.
I can hardly believe we are leaving in just under two weeks!
Here I sit in California, planning the trip home next week and then the trip out to Africa a week later! I don't think I have ever flown this much in such a short period of time.
I can hardly believe it's real. I find myself sitting in stunned silence throughout the day at the reality of it. The grin the spreads across my face only gets bigger when I pinch myself to make sure it's really real. To be honest, the emotion of it all is a bit overwhelming. One minute I am grinning from ear to ear, the next I am full of anxiety over all the "to do's". Then of course there is the inevitable sobbing over the relief of knowing it won't be much longer until I meet the loves of my life. My mind is full of a million different things and I can't seem to shut it up enough to just enjoy these last few days of relative peace and quiet. I am trying to relish it all, knowing that the memory of this time will be shared with my daughters a hundred times over. I don't want to forget any of it.
So, here is the plan. This coming weekend will be spent with a college friend in San Francisco, then I head back up to Redding and Chico for a couple final days of friend and family time, then it's back to Maryland and Garrett (who is as beside himself with excitement as I am) and all of my "to do's".
There are bags to double check and re-organize, my own luggage to prepare and final preparations to be made before Mom and Marcy arrive on the Sunday before we leave. Then we will empty out all of our "grown up" stuff, and repack it as tightly as possible before we put the markers on our bags and call it all finished!
It is going to be a fast couple of weeks. I promise I'll post some pictures, keep you updated and take you along with me as best I can.
I am still in shock (HUGE GRIN)!

Birth Certificates, Travel Dates, and Obama In The Oval Office

What an amazing day!
I will be on a plane headed to Ethiopia on Wednesday the 19th of November! I can't believe it!
Not only do I have legal proof that I am the mother of two beautiful girls, but I have a travel date to go get them and a history making date to remember it all by. What an amazing November 4th! My world changed today along with everyone else's and I struggle for words to express the humble gratitude I feel for what this date has given me.
I am so pleased to be able to bring my daughters home to a nation that has come so far in such a relatively short span of time. To be able to raise my daughters in a country where they can see that anything really is possible is a gift beyond measure. It is one thing to say it, teach it, or believe it. It is another thing entirely, to see it.
We may not all agree on the priorities, the morals, or even the strategies of any given political party, but we can say, with great pride that, as a nation, we made history today. We broke down walls that generations before us swore would never fall. We put action behind our desire for something different and we made it happen. We have come this far and we will continue on, pushing for changes that will make this nation the best it can be, for all of those that choose to be a part of it.
We should ALL be proud of that, if only that.
I believe that the country I bring my girls home to, is one that they will be proud to live in, grow in, and learn in.
The day began with great news, continued with fantastic news, and ended with historical news. The grin on my face has made my tear-stained cheeks sore. I am a mom and I am just around the corner from having those girls in my arms! I couldn't have asked for a better day!