Advice for the Traveler.

It's funny, after I wrote that last post, I called my mom and shared how I actually felt like I remembered so little of our trip to Addis. The drive from the airport to the guest house was really the last chance my eyes had at taking in my surroundings without my mind and heart dominating my senses. Looking back, I think what surprises me the most is how much I blocked out, just due to the trauma of the circumstances. Our introduction to the girls was anything but smooth, so my week was really spent trying to solidify a connection with them. That took over everything else in my mind. I was so thankful to have support with me. Not only to be there as that, but to help me remember (and in some cases remember for me) as much as possible about the trip.
Thankfully, I DO remember clearly my meeting with Ababa and our trip to Hosanna. While it was emotional, it was something that I knew I needed to make space in my busy mind for. It was more important to remember that than it was to put any amount of energy into anything else, including emotions. It was something I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to do and I am grateful that my mind allowed me to keep that one.
For that reason, I would strongly suggest that whether your child was abandon or relinquished, if you have the chance, meet the person that brought them in. In some cases, this may even be a birth parent or relative that will deny knowledge of the child's circumstances. It's not that you want to interrogate, but your children will want answers in the future- you want those answers for them. It may even be possible to get a photograph of that person. Document as much as you can, in as many ways as you can.
I remember planning for the trip in every way that I could and I remember being told that nothing could REALLY prepare me for what was coming. How true that was! Toddler adoption and sibling adoption is FAR different than picking up an infant. Emotionally and physically you are spent, wrung, and left hanging out to dry by the end of the week. It's amazing what the human spirit can survive and I just remember being SOOOOO focused on what the girls were going through and had gone through, that I completely neglected to recognize where I was at until we were about 14 hours into the flight home.
I'm not sure how I could have done things much differently, given where we all were, but I should have figured SOMETHING out, because that flight home was tough.
That said- HAVE SUPPORT !!! Make sure you have AT LEAST one person come with you. This can be a partner, a spouse, a friend. It doesn't matter who, as long as they can do what you need (preferably without you having to tell them), and be sensitive to YOU. You'll be focused on the kids, the baby, your surroundings, and everything illogical. Somebody needs to be the logistical work mule of the trip. LOL! Funny, but very true.
On the same note, don't expect that the support will provide you with any space. Especially if you have an older child/ren, you may find that separation from you is not an option. I mean- NOT AN OPTION. This is a good sign and something that you think you'll be thankful for right now. Believe me, when you are there, a 5 minute shower, or even two minutes on the toilet by yourself is PRECIOUS!!! Emotionally, you WILL need it, so if you get a chance and don't even feel like you need it- TAKE IT!
OK- enough about that.
Packing tips: pack as light as you can. You'll be there a week and clothing can wash. You can pick a lot of things up at local markets in Addis and you will regret not getting more items from ET to bring home while you are there. Bring an extra suitcase and plenty of extra spending money (both for donations and shopping). You can find stuff online once you're home, but it is FAR more expensive than what you would pay there.

• Clothing- for yourself, you know your sizes, pack two of each thing and rotate. It'll save a ton of room. For the kiddos- think small- no.... more likely, think tiny. Go by the weight they give you, not the age. These kids are SMALL! Bring 3-4 of each thing (except diapers, bring lots of them) and wash them. Oh, and bring a couple plastic diapers to put over the real deal on the flights (I've heard they can be a big help).
• Cameras, batteries, sound recorder (sounds of nursery/songs etc), memory chips- a must.
• Journal- although you'll likely have too much information coming in, to process it fast enough, let alone write as fast as you can try to think through it. Still, bring it.
• Have your questions written down. ALL of them. From medical history to birth history, to region where the child was born, care in the orphanage, daily routines, things that sooth, foods, smells, sounds. Make note and record all of it. It will be something you will use at home and will also expose any existing family to the culture that your new child has been in.
• Wipes, sanitary lotion, pur water packets, wipes, hair ties (work for all sorts of things), wipes, ziplock baggies (big and small), wipes oh, and did I say wipes. :) Just to clarify, don't just get baby wipes, get sanitary wipes. Oh, and the sanitary lotion/hand stuff that dries- the kids in the orphanage love it and the centers can always use any extra.
• Bubbles, another hit with the kiddos.
• Ear plugs. Bring them. You can rotate using them with your support person. The last thing you'll need is less sleep then you'll already be struggling to get.
• Benadryl. Children's- bring it too. Try it before you get on the plane though, sometimes it backfires. You don't have to use it, but folks- it's a 20+ hour flight home. You may wish you had it.
• Giardia. It's real. It will likely happen. Be proactive with your doctor, pre-trip. Be careful on the trip, but just plan on treating it when you get home. Between the showers, the baths, and the other kids, it's pretty likely to happen. Especially if you are adopting toddlers!
• Donations. Bring them. In fact, that empty suitcase I told you to bring, fill it with donations. Ask what the needs are and bring what you can.
• Food. Peanut butter- bit hit. Cheerios- always a safe bet. Sweet isn't big over there. Oranges, Bananas, Pancakes are HUGE hits. Buy some Injera and have it ready at home (Separate pieces between wax paper and freeze it in zip locs).
• Music! Bring it. An Ipod, an MP3 player, whatever you can fit. This is therapy for you and for the kids if they are old enough. I remember the girls sitting for hours just being dumbfounded by music in their ears. It could also be soothing to babies if you had some quiet music in it.
• Cell phones- toddlers love them. Bring a pretend phone for them that makes noise and has music. The staff have phones that they let the kids play with. That will be a big help with toddlers as well.

If you are bringing home an older child, check with the center and see what kind of videos they have been exposed to. For us it was Sesame Street, so the girls got REALLY excited to see Elmo when we got home. We have also found that Leap Frog stuff is a HUGE resource. The Letter Factory, Word Factory and Math Circus videos work a lot on basic sounds, meanings, enunciation, etc. Also, while Barney is annoying, he is very clear in his speech, talks about the basic habits in American life and there is a lot diversity with the kids in the show. All things you'll want to be looking for.
Books- if you have kids at home, and especially if you live in a smaller, predominately white community, make sure that you have LOTS of books, music, art, videos- all of it with a lot of diversity. It will help the whole family. Start looking around, you have a lot of  unrecognized "white" culture surrounding you. Begin to notice it now and it will be easier to be sensitive to your choices later.
Resources- find them now. Your children will need people of their same race and home country to pull on and ask questions of. Make sure you begin those connections now. They will need them, and so will you, as they get older. From hair-care, to racial prejudice, there will be things that you just WILL NOT understand- so if you are any other race or heritage than the child you are adopting- be honest with yourself and prepare.
That is really all I can think of at the moment, although I am sure there are a million other things. Use the list of items to pack that your agency gives you. Carry multiple copies of visas, passports and adoption info in case luggage gets lost. Do your best and trust that you will make it home, even if you are covered in spit up, poop and have ringing ears. You'll make it home, and you'll survive.