Sometimes it is the simle things that people are the most scared of.... what an awesome idea!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Waiting for Someday...
My heart broke today, thinking of all the days in my life that I have spent waiting for the "some day's". The day when I would be old enough to date, to drive, old enough to order an alcoholic beverage, old enough to get married, old enough to know myself.... waiting to get out from under debt, waiting to graduate from college, move to London, move home, now the move to Bethesda and waiting for the kids. I think of all the days in between the "some day's" and I wonder what happened in those days that got me to the big days (that's a lot of day's).
I know in my head that it isn't the end result that defines us. It is the getting there that makes us who we are in the end. It's in the day to day, in the struggles and in the waiting that proves our character.
I don't know if it can make sense to anyone other than myself, but my heart aches for time to enjoy the moments of the day. When I was at my best, I was broken. I was open to see all the little miracles that brought reflection and peace to life. The things that remind us that there is something bigger than ourselves in control. There was such a solace in it... such a calm resolve and hope in knowing that regardless of what the next day brought, I was EXACTLY where God wanted me. It was a feeling I felt down to the tiniest cell in my body. I had lost everything and discovered a new foundation, far stronger than the first. A beginning that I was humbled by and thankful for.
Now, I struggle again, finding myself consumed by work, worry, and anxiety over what is to come and how we will get there. Life happens, we all have things to do, but I never wanted to be this person again. The Beth that forgot what life is really about.
I'm not scared of things not working out or God not providing.... I know he will- that's just who he is. It's losing sight of His greatness that I fear most. I have forgotten to thank him for putting the dreams within me in the first place. I've forgotten to thank him for making them happen, for blessing me with the faith to believe that they are only from Him, regardless of what others think or say. He placed these hopes in me before I even knew they were there.
Somehow, I have forgotten all of that... what a human thing to do. It has only distracted from the miracles that are right in front of me every day. What a terrible waste of time! ;p
Here's to being brave, fighting the status quo, and remembering what it is to live each moment simply enjoying the miracle of it!
I know in my head that it isn't the end result that defines us. It is the getting there that makes us who we are in the end. It's in the day to day, in the struggles and in the waiting that proves our character.
I don't know if it can make sense to anyone other than myself, but my heart aches for time to enjoy the moments of the day. When I was at my best, I was broken. I was open to see all the little miracles that brought reflection and peace to life. The things that remind us that there is something bigger than ourselves in control. There was such a solace in it... such a calm resolve and hope in knowing that regardless of what the next day brought, I was EXACTLY where God wanted me. It was a feeling I felt down to the tiniest cell in my body. I had lost everything and discovered a new foundation, far stronger than the first. A beginning that I was humbled by and thankful for.
Now, I struggle again, finding myself consumed by work, worry, and anxiety over what is to come and how we will get there. Life happens, we all have things to do, but I never wanted to be this person again. The Beth that forgot what life is really about.
I'm not scared of things not working out or God not providing.... I know he will- that's just who he is. It's losing sight of His greatness that I fear most. I have forgotten to thank him for putting the dreams within me in the first place. I've forgotten to thank him for making them happen, for blessing me with the faith to believe that they are only from Him, regardless of what others think or say. He placed these hopes in me before I even knew they were there.
Somehow, I have forgotten all of that... what a human thing to do. It has only distracted from the miracles that are right in front of me every day. What a terrible waste of time! ;p
Here's to being brave, fighting the status quo, and remembering what it is to live each moment simply enjoying the miracle of it!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Moving Forward
Our paperwork has been completed and sent to the International Director at FCCA! In just under a week, Christie finished up all the changes that needed to be made and we are now waiting for the agencies final sign off on the paperwork! My understanding is that they have around two weeks to complete it- which means that our paperwork will definitely be in to CHSFS by the end of the month!!!!!!
I have thought a lot about this whole process and what we have gone through so far, knowing that the hardest part is still to come. I have wondered about the timing and all the other things going on in our lives. I suppose some see Garrett and I as ridiculously ambitious to think that we can take all of this on at the same time. While I can't fully explain the "why now's", I can say with all of my heart, that I have never felt so sure of anything in my life. Our children are waiting for us.... and I am convinced beyond words that our family begins there.
So, to break down where we are at now, all of the signs point to a 6-8 month wait from January, if not a few months longer. We have maintained our decision to remain open to a single infant, infant twins, or a sibling group with one infant and a toddler under the age of three. We limited it to age three due to the malnutrition issue. Often, toddlers placed in homes are given an age based on their current height and weight. That said, it usually doesn't take long in the US for parents to realize that these children have been starved and now can catch up to where their development should be. Often three year olds are found to be 5 or 6 years of age after they have had the chance to develop.
Garrett and I both feel that God is in control of this whole thing. What he chooses to bless us with is what we are meant to have. Please be prayerful for our kids, for their health, for our patience and for Gods timing in all of it.
Now scroll down to see the cutest video I've seen in a long time!
I have thought a lot about this whole process and what we have gone through so far, knowing that the hardest part is still to come. I have wondered about the timing and all the other things going on in our lives. I suppose some see Garrett and I as ridiculously ambitious to think that we can take all of this on at the same time. While I can't fully explain the "why now's", I can say with all of my heart, that I have never felt so sure of anything in my life. Our children are waiting for us.... and I am convinced beyond words that our family begins there.
So, to break down where we are at now, all of the signs point to a 6-8 month wait from January, if not a few months longer. We have maintained our decision to remain open to a single infant, infant twins, or a sibling group with one infant and a toddler under the age of three. We limited it to age three due to the malnutrition issue. Often, toddlers placed in homes are given an age based on their current height and weight. That said, it usually doesn't take long in the US for parents to realize that these children have been starved and now can catch up to where their development should be. Often three year olds are found to be 5 or 6 years of age after they have had the chance to develop.
Garrett and I both feel that God is in control of this whole thing. What he chooses to bless us with is what we are meant to have. Please be prayerful for our kids, for their health, for our patience and for Gods timing in all of it.
Now scroll down to see the cutest video I've seen in a long time!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The Rain
It's raining... in fact, it's pouring and I love it! There is something about the rain that makes things new. I pulled out my sweaters, put on my sweats and a jacket and took Dudley on a walk. He loved it. There are times when he prances like a horse and today, in the rain, was one of them. He cracks me up, sniffs at everything, turns looks at me to make sure I'm o.k., and then moves on to the next smelly item.
The leaves have fallen and winter is setting in. It seems like every year I forget until it happens, how much I love the smell of the first rain. The best smell in the world, I wish they could bottle it up. I suppose then, it wouldn't be as wonderful.
Garrett took off to work and school this morning decked out in his rain duds. It's funny, he loves to bike to work, rain, shine, or snow.... he loves it! It is kinda fun to see. My brother is the same way and he lives in Seattle, bless his heart- where it rains ALL THE TIME!
I also got a call today from Garrett's aunt, Karen. Apparently there is a woman at their church whose son (Officer in the Air Force) and daughter-in-law, also adopted from Ethiopia. I'll tell you what- this whole world keeps getting smaller and smaller! I hope to meet her this week and get to know her story! It is amazing to discover this whole adoption "underworld". It seems like every day there are more and more of us out there with stories to tell and encouragement to give.
The leaves have fallen and winter is setting in. It seems like every year I forget until it happens, how much I love the smell of the first rain. The best smell in the world, I wish they could bottle it up. I suppose then, it wouldn't be as wonderful.
Garrett took off to work and school this morning decked out in his rain duds. It's funny, he loves to bike to work, rain, shine, or snow.... he loves it! It is kinda fun to see. My brother is the same way and he lives in Seattle, bless his heart- where it rains ALL THE TIME!
I also got a call today from Garrett's aunt, Karen. Apparently there is a woman at their church whose son (Officer in the Air Force) and daughter-in-law, also adopted from Ethiopia. I'll tell you what- this whole world keeps getting smaller and smaller! I hope to meet her this week and get to know her story! It is amazing to discover this whole adoption "underworld". It seems like every day there are more and more of us out there with stories to tell and encouragement to give.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Home Study Day!!
Meet Christine! What a gift and encouragement she has been to both Garrett and I throughout our adoption process so far. Forgive the star coming out of my head- it is really attached to the tree behind us! Ha Ha!
The final step has been completed! Christine's visit was this morning and it went well. She saw our home (Christmas tree is already up), met Dudley, and sat with us for a little under an hour going over final questions and formalities. Now, she is famously posted on our blog with great pride! We couldn't have asked for a better social worker. I have no doubt, but that we will stay in touch throughout the process and long after the move!
Now we wait. Our actual Home Study document has to be filtered through a few different people at FCCA and then it goes to CHSFS for review. Any questions they have get sent to FCCA for updates and then it goes back for final approval. Once that is received, a completed original gets sent to them as well as immigration and us. Our hope (and Christine's), is that CHSFS will have a final draft before Christmas! The best Christmas gift we could ask for!
I'm sure I will say it again, but thank you so much, to all the staff at FCCA! From the random phone calls, to the visits, all the books and resources, and more than anything the time and prayers that you have put into us and our growing family- thank you is not enough.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Cleaning
Well, Christine (our social worker) comes to complete our home visit tomorrow morning. I know they tell families not to worry about the whole "home inspection" thing, but I couldn't help myself. While I was at work today, Garrett did all of the final cleaning in house (I did quite a bit on my days off) and ran some extra errands. I am so thankful for the team that Garrett and I make. Our house is now super clean and ready for inspection.
As far as the visit goes, we are as prepared as we can be. I am actually starting to feel more relief than anything. It will be a weight off my shoulders to have this phase of the process complete.
I keep looking at the forum that CHSFS has running for all of the Ethiopian adoptive families, and it is so exciting to see the list moving. There have been about 20 children matched with families in November alone! What an amazing time for them. I am hopeful that the list keeps moving through this month and the next, until all the children that need homes find them.
Garrett and I have starting looking at housing in Bethesda. We are hoping to find a home for rent where we can plant it for a while. There are plenty of apartments, but coming from a home now, it would be an easier transition to have some property, even if it is just a small little plot of land.
We have sent out some emails regarding the move to various military personnel that have been through all of this med school stuff. Apparently, we can move only after Garrett gets his orders to report for officer training. We are still waiting for an idea of when those orders might come in, so that we can begin to move forward with things. We're guessing some time around June, but we won't be sure until we hear further. That said, for now, we are getting an idea of what and where we need to be looking. Kinda like window shopping!
We'll keep you updated!
As far as the visit goes, we are as prepared as we can be. I am actually starting to feel more relief than anything. It will be a weight off my shoulders to have this phase of the process complete.
I keep looking at the forum that CHSFS has running for all of the Ethiopian adoptive families, and it is so exciting to see the list moving. There have been about 20 children matched with families in November alone! What an amazing time for them. I am hopeful that the list keeps moving through this month and the next, until all the children that need homes find them.
Garrett and I have starting looking at housing in Bethesda. We are hoping to find a home for rent where we can plant it for a while. There are plenty of apartments, but coming from a home now, it would be an easier transition to have some property, even if it is just a small little plot of land.
We have sent out some emails regarding the move to various military personnel that have been through all of this med school stuff. Apparently, we can move only after Garrett gets his orders to report for officer training. We are still waiting for an idea of when those orders might come in, so that we can begin to move forward with things. We're guessing some time around June, but we won't be sure until we hear further. That said, for now, we are getting an idea of what and where we need to be looking. Kinda like window shopping!
We'll keep you updated!
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