Mixed Emotions

I had a tiny baby boy in my arms last night. He was beautiful. Tiny hands, tiny feet, the most amazing big brown eyes, and he was mine. I fell in love. Then I woke up.
It was one of those dreams you wish you could stay in for hours. One where the world is at peace and everything that's not important just disappears, clarity is instant and the simple moment is an inexplicable gift.
Now my arms are empty and my heart is completely taken by a tiny little soul that I only know by heart. Girl or boy, our baby is out there and I can't wait to finally see that face!
I know cheesy, but deal with it. It's too hard to explain and too complicated to try, but it's there. Trust me.
Update- we are number 41 on the list. So many referrals have gone out in the last week. With the court closures coming and the drought and cost of food in Ethiopia there are more and more children coming into the care center. While there is anticipation watching numbers move, there is also sadness knowing that so many more homes are being broken because of simple, basic needs that are going unmet.
I am reminded with each referral that I hear about, of the greater need to help and actually do something to impact the world and those that are suffering.
I'll stay off the soapbox today, but my heart is steady. My desire to make things better only grows. My search for ways to help is consistent, and the ache for my child and his/her family grows stronger every day.