47 Mornings In

I feel like I have aged 10 years in the last month and a half, add another 5 if you include the 3 months prior to that. Between the emotions, the pain of waiting, the lack of sleep, the learning curve, and the complete joy, I am fairly certain that I have at least half a head of white hair. Thank GOD for hair dye!
Most mornings are good ones. Most mornings are smiles and giggles, laughter and lots of babble. Routine is easily followed and life is enjoyed by all.
This morning was not one of those. It was a battle from before the sun was even up. Little ears hearing movement in the kitchen and sheer determination to be a part of Daddy's early morning action, led to two awake toddlers and a VERY tired mommy attempting to begin a day WAY to early.
Lack of sleep can lead to two little cuddle bugs or it can lead to test after test of momma's willingness to tolerate and discipline for very deliberate acts of disobedience. Hitting, throwing, yelling, fighting.... this morning was full of good times. Both the girls need a nap desperately and it is only- what 9:15 in the morning! Thankfully, the girls and I have worked though most of those struggles quickly and they are playing upstairs pretty well at the moment.
That said, these are mornings that leave me a bit frazzled, worn, and very ready to crawl back into bed and pretend it's only 5am again. While that isn't an option in this house, there are alternatives and for me, that is a few moments of solitude, a good breakfast in this stomach of mine and a fresh cup of coffee!
It's in moments spent curled up in this little chair of mine typing that I begin to reflect on how far I have come during this life of mine. That and how much further I have left to go. Parenting is BY FAR the most humbling experience I have ever had. Each day has it's challenges. Each day is another opportunity to learn something new. The sun sets and I reflect on the things that could have been done differently, that might have worked better. I was told I would have a lifetime of that to ponder once I had kids. Now I see how true that is.
With all of that responsibility comes the joy of those little lives too! There is something remarkable about a child's face lighting up at the sight of you and running to wrap their chubby little arms around you and calling you Momma...... and right on cue, giggles are floating downstairs and my coffee cup is drained of it's goodness. I sit here smiling at the noise of joyful play and I simply must go and be a part of it. Have a great day! I'm gonna start mine over again!