Enough!!!

So, here I sit, 48 hours after another day of bad news. I have consumed an ENTIRE Boston Cream Pie in an attempt to eat my feelings and don't remember tasting a bite of it (I know I am not the only one that has gone there, so don't judge)! It has been a difficult couple of weeks and there have been few words spoken within the walls of our house, let alone outside of it. I have cried thousands of tears, screamed endlessly into a pillow, asked "why?" more times than I can count, and moped around this house in my pajamas for FAR too long!
I can't begin to understand why those two, sweet little faces have to wait another month for their mom to come and get them. There are more unanswered questions than I can count and I am left feeling completely out of control.
The complications with the adoption are things that I can do nothing about. Not only that, but they will pass and, hopefully, be forgotten once I hold Macie and Ella in my arms (Girls, I'm still coming I PROMISE).
Thank you all for your support. Your encouragement has meant more than any of you could know and I want to make sure you are recognized for being part of what shook me out of my somberness.
The world has bigger problems and there HAVE to be things that I can do, to make it a little bit better, even if my mind and heart are in Africa with my girls.
So, that said, I am going to do my best to move past being so self-absorbed and do something worth while with each day of this wait.
I just wanted to make sure that I put this down in writing so that I had something to hold myself to. I'll keep you updated as best I can on how I am doing and what I find to help me get myself out of this rut I've been in.
If anyone has any ideas, I am open to suggestions! With all my heart, thanks again.
Beth